
It was in the time out of school when the practical lessons took place. There were the beginning stages of multiple skill sets to learn. In the nautical area, tying up a boat, learning the basic four or five knots like a bowline, sheep shank, half hitch, square knot, and simple eye splice required practice and patience for awkward fingers. Sanding and painting our wooden boats taught proper preparation of surfaces and tidy application of paint and all about turpentine and linseed oil. Other boat skills included rudimentary navigation, and helmsmanship toward an object in the distance and by compass. All of my intuitive knowledge blossomed into the beginning skills of operating a boat, whether a rowboat or a sailboat.
My Dad loved to eat fish. First he had to troll a line behind the Scamp or later the Nana boat for snapper, better known as baby bluefish, a delicacy of Great South Bay. This snapper was the first successful catch of mine that I remember eating. As I perched on a settee in the cabin, out of the perpetual afternoon breeze with the Nana boat on a reach going towards Amityville, I tasted a teeny bite of the sautéed snapper from a paper plate.
I was prepared to hate it, but instead was pleasantly surprised. I actually liked this fish and since I caught it, that made it an excellent fish. On subsequent weekends and summers on the Nana boat, we drifted and mooched for fluke, a flounder-like bottomfish which flourished in the Shinnecock Inlet area. It offered a larger fillet than snapper but it tasted bland. My mother had a lot of mouths to feed so her cooking style was get it cooked, get it eaten, get it washed up so it was a done deal. She was saddled with my Dad’s excellent clamming and fishing skills which never let up on the summer’s supply of seafood.
Dad taught us clam collection by exploiting the digging and burrowing ability of our feet. All four of us kids were poised over his secret clam beds with our toes working the mud for that special feel of a littleneck or cherrystone. When you hit one, you reached in the bay to your armpit, grabbed the clam, and stuck it in your bag. There was one adversary in this adventure. The local crab population could strike a toe or ankle and lead to howls of pain.
Seat of the pants learning was gaining the logical application of skills to further abilities in many directions. One area of learning was mental and physical toughness. My siblings and I valued bravery. If you scraped your knee or stubbed your toe, never, never cry. When being spanked it was OK to wince and grimace but not to cry. We learned a lot of neighborhood games such as Red Rover, Giant Steps, softball and others which all had rules over which we fiercely fought. Fairness was a real doctrine. Athletic ability was valued as well as the rudiments of strategy. My older sisters were adept at ditching my brother and I, which was a useful strategy later on for me. Our character was developing, our competition amongst siblings and neighbors was toughening, and our desire to succeed was growing. I wanted to be as smart and nice as my sister Lee, and
as popular and in charge as my sister Pam. We all wanted to win, be first, and be the best at everything. With four children all two years apart, it was an impossible task. It was a great rivalry because we learned discipline and drive and hard work from both our play and from our hobbies and games with each other. My brother had it the worst because we expected him to be the toughest being the only boy. We were merciless at times. I pounded him on the back for hitting me on the head with a shovel, and then with a hammer. We fought until I was 12. It was a good sturdy childhood. We all became strivers, committed to excellence. From seat of the pants and intuitive learning, we absorbed our environment, but with life’s early lessons of family life and school, it was pressed on us to challenge or react with personality and skills.










